Added: Ivori Gildea - Date: 19.12.2021 05:38 - Views: 30966 - Clicks: 7775
I think probably most people want to find a soulmate in life. Unfortunately, in our society, we grow up thinking we have a right to have this kind of joy and connection. It takes a lot of hard work and self-reflection to find your soulmate. Are you willing to put in the time and effort to find your true soulmate? Read our full disclosure policy. A soulmate someone who you have an effortless connection with.
They understand you, love you, and are there to walk with you through life, side by side. Having said that, there are a few more distinctions we need to make.
My story of finding my soulmate is very similar to many other stories out there. I first met the one when I was married to someone else. After two years cleaning up my act and leaving a toxic work environment, I did not realize that my home environment was toxic as well. I had worked on my communication skills, tried hard to compromise, found a good system of organization, managed my time well. And I was insanely frustrated by how my then-husband and I never seemed to be on the same in life. I was ready for kids, for adventure, for a house, for more furry, four-legged children to add love to my home.
He was ready for none of it, he had only had a steady income for 2 years out of the 6 years we had been together after college and was unemployed at the time. So when I met my new coworker, Phil, we were just friends for a long time. In fact, he was not someone I would have considered dating for most of my life. As Phil and I grew closer and I felt that he was truly someone that I could trust and confide in. He was patient and understanding. It made me realize that I truly had been settling when I married my first husband—there WERE indeed men out there who shared all the same values and desires in life that I did.
I had filed for divorce from my first husband, but I was not ready to dive headfirst into a new relationship. Even though I ultimately wanted a relationship, I knew that I would truly be content to be single for a while. He was patient… he was confident, make no mistake, but he respected my space after my divorce. Because of his kindness, caring, dedication, and genuineness he kept my feet firmly planted next to his. I felt anchored. I felt safe. Phil and I have been together for eight years, married for 5.
We have expressed frustrations, especially after the kids came along. But we have learned how to communicate with each other very well. I make plans and spice up his life, and when I get too carried away with projects, he is the anchor that brings me back down to earth. In the traditional romantic comedy, there is a couple who are clearly destined to be together, but something gets in their way. Ultimately, of course, they overcome that obstacle to get together in the end. Even Disney and traditional patriarchal fairy tales present with all kinds of issues for both men and women.
Characters have to have flaws. It makes for a good story. Reality is not so black and white. Real people have lots of flaws to varying degrees. These character flaws may or may not get resolved by the end of the movie, but if the character continues their relationship without thoroughly examining and working on their flaw, it will likely continue to cause relationships in the future for them, which brings me to my next point. Stories have distinct beginnings, middles and ends.
For our lives, the end happens when we pass away. Sure there are other important markers throughout our lives, but nothing ifies an end like riding off into the sunset together with a sappy song playing. Get real folks! There will just be another one down the road! If I were in a romantic comedy, I would probably be paired with someone who was shallow, cocky, charming and rude. And extroverted shoot me now… hey, I actually dated someone like that once! And the writers would have a fun time making the two LOOKING FOR MY SOUL MATE TO SAVE ME!
us work things out so we would end up together. Do you want the other person to complement you, not be like oil and water?
Relationships take time, patience, dedication, compromise, communication, and balance. Your first step in finding your soulmate should always be to work on yourself. Get ready for some self reflection:. You need to know your triggers and flaws. Conversely, you need to know what you want in life. What are the good things that you expect? Do you want kids?
Are you the kind of person who wants to travel or move around the country?
How do you want to live? Being inauthentic will push away the right people and bring you closer to the wrong ones. There is a certain level of objectivity a person needs to be in a committed, long-term relationship. Being explosive or blowing things out of proportion can be seriously detrimental to the health of a relationship. And to answer that question, you need a little bit of insight.
Understanding yourself through authenticity can help you understand the behaviors and motivations of others. In Buddhism, understanding and love basically mean the same thing. When you can understand someone, you can love them. Humans are flawed. Life is unpredictable. You might understand yourself and you might understand your ificant other, but when events happen or tragedy strikesyou may not know yourself or them anymore. You never know how you or SO might react when confronted with an impactful event, either positive or negative.
If you think you know what to expect from that person or from your relationship, keep a healthy amount of flexibility in place for these events. Those events, four of them planned, rocked my world in a variety of ways. You need to dedicate yourself to your own happiness. You have to ultimately be satisfied with yourself as a person and you have to learn to keep yourself company. This can be somewhat of a challenging concept to grasp. Things that prevent our growth and development as a person can prevent us from finding our soulmate.
Pessimism is one thing that can prevent finding a soulmate. Similarly, perfectionism is detrimental to finding your soulmate. Expecting someone to be perfect is not realistic, just as you should not expect yourself to be perfect. Growth mindset means that you believe that you can develop skills and hone your talents as you work on them, and this applies to finding your soulmate too.
I had to move 1, miles away from my hometown to find my husband — that one person who makes my world light up. Staying in the same bubble, the same routine, the same place does not lend itself to meeting new people. This may be because of not being clear on traits that you are looking for or expect in your soul mate.
Things that used to be deal breakers for me not having a career in music suddenly were no longer important when I learned more about myself and discovered what I truly wanted adventure, a family, an unconventional life. A healthy relationship cannot exist without one of these elements on some level. When you have quiet time, sitting on the couch and reading separate books, or washing dishes after dinner, these are the true moments of our lives.
How does quiet time with this person make you feel? Are you comfortable sitting with them in silence? Or do you feel awkward and have a nagging feeling that you need to make constant conversation? Feeling comfortable in silence with a person can help you determine whether they are a lifelong match for you. Like I mentioned above, you cannot be a perfectionist. For example, being with someone who gets angry often may be a dealbreaker for you.
Do you and your partner both want to settle down in the same place for 30 years or travel and have adventures? Are you both interested in kids? Do you want to be a stay-at-home parent or work full time? What does your partner want or expect? These are things that can potentially get in the way of a lifelong partnership if you have different expectations.
When the other person needs time with their friends or family, or time alone, you should ideally feel content with that. Maybe they make you feel like LOOKING FOR MY SOUL MATE TO SAVE ME! best version of yourself. So when my relationship with my husband began, I was blown away. Listening to each other truly listening, without agenda of replying or responding is a trait of healthy, long lasting relationships. When you have shared new experiences with your soulmate, it refreshes your connection in a way that habits and routine cannot. Giving apologies and accepting apologies are important parts of a healthy relationship with your soulmate.
There have both been times when my husband has gotten frustrated and later apologized as well as times when I realized that I was in the wrong and needed to apologize to my husband. Be thankful for the positive traits and qualities that this person brings into your life, and they will express their own gratitude for you. Perhaps they love holding hands or putting their arms around you, or maybe they love to give gifts. Learn about yourself and learn what you need for a successful relationship.
Hopefully your partner will have done the same. Be their soulmate so that they can be yours! I think I've already found my soulmate and messed it up so bad. I had lots of chances to fix things and made a mess of it. We now don't talk at all. Will he come back to me if he's really the one??? Sometimes we find the right person at the wrong time.
We both have other lessons to learn and journeys to make before we can have a healthy relationship with our soulmate. You have to keep working on yourself and trust that he is also working on himself so that you'll be able to find each other at the RIGHT time for the both of you. But yes, it's absolutely still possible that you will end up together! Have faith, and keep working on being your best person for YOU. Terrific article, informative and I love your story telling skills.
Your points make me reflect on the things missing and what I need to work on. Simple, obvious things become more real when u get them from another person. Thank you for this article. For me, the hardest part is ti define what i want in life. Rwallystruggling here but still will keep looking. Embed from Getty Images. Cailin Tuesday 12th of October Airah Din Friday 1st of October Sarah Saturday 14th of August Dawn Perez Saturday 14th of August Cary S.
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Stop Waiting for Your Soul Mate