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I opened her and poured french-pressed coffee into my yawning cup. But the greatest flaw with his article is not so much the content but the consequence: it leaves the reader wondering where to turn. Before I launch into my counter-article, I encourage my readers to note: the man who wrote the other piece is still a brother in Christ. No matter how flawed we believe his points, no matter how much we disagree with his ideology — we still owe him the kindness of one Christian to another.
A woman whose heart is surrendered to God is the only kind of woman to whom a Christian man can be fully united, because there is no fellowship between light and darkness 2 Cor. For a Christian man to marry an unbelieving woman or vice versa is to put God in second-place to the priority of a human relationship.
While we are to have compassion on unbelievers Col. The unequal yoking may not seem like an issue at first, but with time, the consequences of this decision can be drastic. Unity before God requires that both the man and the woman be in submission to Him — and actively seeking Him with their lives. A woman who fears the Lord reverences God is the kind of woman with whom a godly man can build a legacy.
The author of the aforementioned article brought up a very controversial point by stating that Christian men should never marry a divorcee unless her husband was unfaithful to her. This is actually an accurate point. Jesus expressly states this in Matthew and Mark There are other instances — such as in the case of domestic abuse and molestation — where divorce is necessary for the preservation of a woman and her family.
God does not take marriage lightly, which Jesus illustrated by saying:. What therefore God has ed together, let not man separate. As a Christian man looks for a wife, he can be looking for a woman who places a high value on marriage and the faithfulness it requires. Faithfulness is the guardian of a good marriage. Instead of concerning himself with age, a Christian man should be looking for a woman marked by wisdom.
This means his future wife could be younger, older, or his same age. Maturity is not determined by years on this earth but by closeness to our Heavenly Father. In his treatment of this issue, the pastor discussed the roles of men and women in marriage.
This post discusses that in further detail. Before you get outraged, I want my readers to note something: I could be the poster girl for feminism. I am independent, Type-A, driven, and do-it-myself. I believe women should be valued and respected in society. I believe it is an honor to be a woman and I embrace my identity wholeheartedly. But the modern feminist movement has failed to exalt women to the level they deserve, and the tenets of mainstream feminism directly counter a biblical worldview.
Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton. Does this mean Christian women should abandon the cause of their sex? Definitely not. A Christian man should be looking for a woman who is actively reaching out to the needy, advocating for those who have no voice — not angrily lashing out alongside women who hate that for which Christianity stands. I am active in my community through the secular, national organization the Junior League, a volunteer organization for women helping women.
Through this organization and my church I have been able to go into local underprivileged areas and advocate for greater awareness about sexual and domestic abuse in our city.
I encourage other women to seek out opportunities like these to put feet to their faith or their feminism. As Christian women, we do have a responsibility to reflect our worship of God in how we dress. The only way to do this is to live out a humble heart: the grateful, restful spirit that has nothing to prove, no need for applause, and no insecurities in need of physical affirmation.
A woman like this will honor God and her husband in every way — not just what she wears. Humility should be a top priority to a Christian man. The Motive to Modesty. I think I know what he was attempting to say, but it is worthwhile to make a distinction: there is a difference between a slanderous, crass, rude woman and a woman who is simply bubbly and outgoing. A discreet woman knows when to speak and when to be silent. She allows God to guide her words and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue Prov. Her tongue is in submission to God James 3 and is used for His purposes — which are always uplifting and good.
This woman takes pleasure in expressing her opinion Proverbs with no consideration for the feelings and opinions of others. But a woman of discretion says with the Psalmist:. A godly man will be blessed to choose a discreet woman as his wife, whether or not she is an extrovert.
Extroverted women may even have a greater ability to set people at ease and welcome them with love into the church community. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. Children can and are a part of forwarding the gospel and are a blessing to marriage, but are not necessarily the ultimate goal. God loves children. Jesus loved children. A Christian man should be looking for a woman who values life and appreciates children. She does not have to want them immediately or even a certainbut she and he should cultivate an attitude that values and appreciates children the way God does.
A woman who loves adventure, traveling, and seeing new things? She had a rebellious spirit. This is far different from a woman who enjoys seeing new sights, pursuing new interests, and engaging new people. An adventurous — not rebellious — woman will be a light to the life of her husband.
She will bring something bright and new to the table and probably enjoy seeing new things at his side, and when children come into the picture, she can bring them along as well. The issue is not the action, but the motive of the heart. When the motive changes — the actions fall in line with the will of God. She regards him as more important than herself and looks out for his interests — just as he looks out for hers.
For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies. Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living. But if this is the case — should my husband have married me? I have been in the workforce for 10 years. Once again, the issue is not that the woman is working — but if her career comes before her God and her marriage, her priorities are out of line. A Christian man should look for a hard working woman. This kind of woman will be a pillar to his marriage and his family — not just fiscally, because if she chooses not to work outside the home she will still be active within it, maintaining the house, the budget, and the children in a manner that gives glory to God.
She will be able to train his children to have a God-honoring work ethic. She will be an honor to her marriage, an honor to herself, and an honor to God. In the end, a Christian man need only look for one thing: a woman sold out to Jesus Christ. She will believe. She will be faithful.
She will be wise, humble, discreet, and an advocate for the needy. She will value life, love adventure, and work hard. You need a woman who loves God more than she will ever love you, and everything else will fall in place.
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